girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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