so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
