And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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