she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize