I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
