butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
