i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
