Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize