My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am one with the molecules
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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