nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
