I must be too annoying 4 u.
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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