why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize