i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
youre lurking in front of me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
