Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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