like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
