Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
only if we run a train.
done.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
