pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
