I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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