Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
