return my video game
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
