dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
