Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
