what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
