wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
either way he was missing a nipple.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
