I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
