Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
