Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
