Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
