I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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