just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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