This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
