Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
nutella sex= disaster
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
