Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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