haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
