call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
organizing the empties. That sober.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
BRING THE BAGELS
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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