I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
