I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
