He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
