If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
