6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
