If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
