I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
