bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize