i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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