clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I checked into jail on foursquare
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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