eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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