Pappa wants mamma naked
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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