I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
