Kiss
Puke
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
