Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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