Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize