there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
