Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
