he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize