Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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