Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
