East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's never too late to be topless.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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