i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
