This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she looked like the before picture.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
